First Time Sex
There's no need to feel awkward
It’s completely normal to want to talk and find out about sex, it’s absolutely fine to be excited by sex and to think about what it might feel like, and it’s also okay to be worried or confused about sex, it can seem like quite a scary topic.
Haven't had sex? Don't worry!
If you haven’t had sex yet then don’t worry about it, in fact the chances are that a lot of your friends and people you know probably haven’t had sex either (even if they say they have). But why worry about what other people are doing anyway? You’re living your own life, so who cares what everyone else is doing, just because someone else has had sex it doesn’t mean you should if you don’t feel ready. Remember that having sex for the first time isn’t a race, it’ll happen when it happens and you’re ready for it to happen.
Are you ready to have sex?
The questions below may help you decide whether you’re really ready to have sex:
- Are you in a stable relationship?
- Do you AND your partner think it feel right to have sex?
- Could you and your partner have fun without anything sexual being involved?
- Have you talked about having safe sex/condoms together?
- Are you thinking of having sex because you BOTH really want to or because someone else is putting pressure on?
- Could you say ‘no’ if you wanted to?
If you think the answer is yes to all these questions then you may be ready to have sex, but make sure you feel comfortable with that decision and that you use contraception, you can still get pregnant or an STI even if it’s your first time.
You can stop or say no at any time
Remember that even if you have decided you want to have sex it is absolutely fine to stop and say no at any point if you feel you don’t want to carry on, this doesn’t only apply to first time sex, if you don’t feel happy at any point then no one has the right to make you continue.
Want to talk?
It’s fine to talk to someone about first time sex, a close friend, a parent or there are many health professionals available to talk to about this subject. You can find further information about sex in the signposting section of this page, or you can search for your local Savvy approved sexual health service who will be more than happy to speak with you confidentially.
Getting Help Locally
Brook - Free & confidential information for under 25s
C-CARD Scheme - Providing quick, easy and confidential access to condoms for young people living in Cornwall and Isles of Scilly
SHAC Cornwall & The Isles of Scilly - A hub of advice and information on all things sexual health
CLEAR - A registered charity providing a range of therapeutic services for children and young people who have experienced or been linked to abusive relationships
National Support Websites
Rise Above - Find information and advice about sex and relationships
BBC Radio 1 - A whole heap of information about all things sex and relationships
The Mix - For facts and advice about sex
Need someone to talk to?
SHAC - Sexual Health and Contraception
YZUP - Wise up to Drugs and Alcohol
Ask PHIL - support, information and advice on local services
ABC - Anti-bullying in Cornwall
Childline - a free 24 hour counselling service for children and young people
Samaritans - 24 hour confidential emotional support for people experiencing feelings of distress, despair or suicidal thoughts
Brook - free and confidential sexual health advice and contraception to young people
Kooth - free online support for young people
Think you know - internet safety and safe surfing for young people
Talk to Frank - friendly, confidential drugs advice